Musings

Just some random thoughts today but I hope to post some pictures soon. I have been completely redoing my bedroom. It is coming along but there is still tons of work to do. I went shopping last night to buy lamps and other accessories. I started thinking about the process. It is hard and time consuming. Budget constraints mean lots of shopping from my feet and seat. But it is also very satisfying to me. It is much like oil painting which I did a bit of in high school. You take a blank canvass and paint on a background color (wall paint). And then you gradually start layering on more paint (furniture). The painting evolves and changes from day to day. The concept one starts with is not always what they end up with. I started with a certain color scheme that I was pretty sure of and it has slowly changed. With oil paints you can make lots of change without ruining the finished product. You just grab a palate knife and start scraping (it is not quite that easy). Watercolor on the other hand, is much less forgiving. Decorating is somewhat in between. Yes, I could change that basic wall color but not without a lot of work and money. But I can return throw pillows and exchange paintings and buy different shades for the lamps. But I cannot return fabric I have purchased and I would not want to return put it together yourself furniture once it is put together, thus my not buying something tonight. If I am not completely satisfied with some aspect it may be that I could paint it, use it else where or start over. As the painting takes shape, then one can start adding the details like accessories: books, vases, plants. If the tree doesn't look good on one side of the painting you can always move it to the other side.

I have always been much better at copying than being completely inovative myself. I have poured over magazine pictures and there is a part of me that wants this room to look just like a picture in a magazine. But those pictures are illusions. For one, you never see electrical cords. A computer on a desk can be smack dab in the middle of the room and nary a cord to be seen. The sheets on the beds are beautifully turned down and perfectly pressed. No wrinkles from crunching them up around your neck in the night. Mountains of gorgeous pillows but where are the ones that you actually sleep on and always look mussed and not crisp. Where does one hide those? And so I realize as I layer my "painting" I have to remember to be real and true. Real to the practicalities of life and true to myself. I don't want to copy someone elses idea of what is "in style" or in good taste. Do I really want to put books on the shelf because they match the color scheme or because I hope to read them or love them because I have read them? The answer to that question is yes, sometimes I do that! And most importantly, the room should reflect who I am, not a decorator's idea of who I should be. It would help if I could decide who I am. But like the oil painting, I too, evolve from day today. Life experiences layer on color after color that all work together to make up who I am becoming.

What I do know is that there are certain things that make my heart sing. I am very visual and love color. I bought a framed print (oh, to afford a real oil painting some day) by Kim Parker. I now have 3 of her prints. And this is my favorite. It is the first thing I see every morning when I wake up. It makes me smile every time I look at it. It just can't get better than that. And so, as I continue the decorating process I realize that I really love being creative. It is not just decorating or shopping. It is creating a beautiful environment and is very satisfying. I have no idea if anyone else will like it, but I hope so, because it brings me joy.